Oh, life! Good old life!
One thing I would bet the millions I don’t have (yet), is that life never ceases to amaze me with its twists and turns. It is something that took me almost 30 years to truly accept: the simple fact that all things truly don’t go the way you want them to or even the way you plan for them to happen.
And you know what, it’s cool. I’ve totally accepted this certainty now, but my oh my it took me a lot of tears, heartbreak, anger, and praying to God for answers to reach this road of embracement.
I was never explicitly taught about disappointments in life and how to cope with it. What happens when things don’t go your way. But even more important, how you should react in these situations. One thing I’ve taken away from the many healing (read: therapy) sessions I’ve been to in the past year is that when you don’t learn certain skills early on in life, you’re highly likely to be deficient in them as an adult.
So what does this mean? If as a child, when faced with disappointment I would isolate myself, cry, and hold everything in until I was tired of being sad, that is probably how I would handle the situation throughout the rest of my life. If no authoritative figure stepped in and gave me coping mechanisms or strategies that would help me to deal with those emotions, I wouldn’t just magically learn the right way to tackle those feelings.
We are indeed creatures of habit. Moreover, we are generally products of our environment. So the way we see our parents, grandparents, siblings, or any other people that we grow up with handle problems is typically how we would go about solving ours.
When it comes to the embracing change department, I had a lot of unlearning to do, but if I could leave you with one takeaway it would be this one word: acceptance.
I am a believer in God, and I’m not ashamed to say that. So when I think of the word acceptance, I am reminded that I must be OK with how things in my life are going, because I believe without doubt that God wants the best for me in all areas of my life. And I encourage you to replace God with the entity in which you believe.
So that relationship that I thought would last forever and ended abruptly? I’ve accepted that God has a better man and healthier relationship in store for me.
The move I wanted to do to a new city this year? I’ve accepted that God knew this wasn’t the right time. I need to be planted where I’m at for a little while more.
The trip epic trips I had planned for spring and summer that I was looking forward to going on? I’ve accepted that God wanted me to use my time and finances differently. And he sure did because sis finished a whole book earlier than expected! Sis is me, by the way, lol.
I have countless other examples but I think you get the gist. I encourage you, the one reading this post, to get comfortable and embrace change when it comes at you. And if you still have some learning to do to get there, do it! There are tons of resources on the web and even trained people to help you through moments of uncertainty in your life.
And with that, I’ll leave you with a quote from my debut novel, Jada’s Diary:
“…never get too comfortable with life’s song. The tempo can and will change without your permission.” -excerpt from Jada’s Diary
Cheers to embracing the uncertain roads of life!